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Uncertainty


It seems as if the only certain thing in my life…is Uncertainty. Everything right now is uncertain. Uncertainty comes with the Wait. The waiting, the wondering...will I get it? Will we go? Will it be OK? Will something happen?

Answers: None. Only the Wait.

I wake up one morning, thinking it to be any other normal day…and suddenly it seems as if the whole world’s tumbling down. And on the day something should happen, the huge feeling of anti-climax envelops me.

This Uncertainty, this makes each emotion extreme. Every single one. When I’ve lost all hope and I think, this is it. Ain’t gonna happen. And suddenly it does…obviously, I’ll be overjoyed. Over the moon. Bliss.

And when…when I wake up in the morning, excited, anticipative thinking, yes. Today’s the day. What I’ve been looking for. It all crumples down with the swish of a feather. With one wrong decision. Then I’m crestfallen, downcast.

It’s a wonder I haven’t been diagnosed with Bi-polar Disorder.

And at the end of the day I lie in bed thinking, ‘If only…’

What could have been had I…? The possibilities are endless. So are the outcomes.

With each decision dictating the next turn in our life…how do we choose the correct one?

With everything uncertain in the life, do we learn to go with the flow…or do we plan even more relentlessly?

With the world moving by in a rush, how do we keep our feet on the ground while keeping pace?

How?


"The only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty; not knowing what comes next" - Ursula K. LeGuin

I'm not blaming uncertainty; because in the end, uncertainty is what makes life enjoyable. I'm just saying...its not very easy to live with. Sixteen is not easy.


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62 Reflections:

soin said...

uncertainity is what keeps this world so interesting and going.if not for it this is all so boring world.free

Misanthropist said...

16, my darling, is definitelt not easy. But the it's sweet 16, isn't it?
The only thing I would advice you is to trust your instincts and go after what you want at this very moment!
I'm sure u'll have no regrets of doing it any other way or not doing it altogether. Because at one point you exactly wanted things to be that way.
A very cliched saying here- Dont take life too seriously. nobody gets out alive anyway.

Ketan said...

Srishti,

Whatever you say, you've surely made me happy 'cuz your post witt surel make Rhonda Byrne's (click) blood boil! And that's my greatest reason to call this post *hot*!

And you've yet not been diagnosed with any of the psychiatric disorders, only 'cuz you've not consulted someone as adept as me at psychiatry! :P

http://ketanpanchal.blogspot.com/2009/07/insanity-personalitified.html

Do specifically see if you fit the criteria for borderline personality disorder, especially, clicking on the heading in the above post. You might learn ten percent of psychiatry, and hundred ten percent insanity reading that post. So tread carefully!

On a serious note, if you take the daily swing in your expectations or their lack, as indicators of your mood and enthusiasm, rather than indices to what actually might happen in your life, then it would make much better sense to you, and help you decide what to do (on a very short term). Like, if you feel someday, that something interesting is going to happen, then, take it as greater-than-normal enthusiasm, and try to do things you'd always deferred, say out of laziness/lack of initiation, but wanted to do. And someday, if you feel, it's a fairly routine day, just stick to your normal routine!

TC.

PS: 16 is just a natural number that falls between 15 and 17, as your shall discover next year! :P Just like how I'm discovering 24 is actually a very special number, 'cuz well, I'm 24! ;)

Srishti said...

@Soin: Certainly. Uncertainty is what keeps the world going. :)

@Misanthropist: Awww, thanks you so much for the advice. Trust your instincts is what I've believed in always. Haha...don't take life too seriously. Nobody gets out anyway. True!

@Ketan: Wait...how does my post make Rhonda Byrne's blood boil? I read about her book in the link you gave me. Haha, okay I'll check what kind of disorder I have.
Hmm, thats one good advice. I'll remember that in future. :)

Ketan said...

Rhonda Byrne's blood would've boiled 'cuz her book (and the law of attraction) is all about controlling events merely through positive thoughts. And here's your post, a living testimony as to how thoughts have no relation with events that are to occur! Now, do you see the relation, or rather lack of it? ;)

Srishti said...

Aaahhh. I saw the book in the bookstore the other day and Im gonna buy it. :)

She makes me think. said...

Sixteen isn't easy.
Twenty-one isn't easier.

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Interestingly, some venues offer special bingo games for kids although some halls don't allow players to have companions while playing. Suppose you bring kids with you, don't let them run around the venue and bother other gamers. They should behave well whilst you play and the game proceeds. Play quietly and don't recite the numbers you desperately want to come off because you'll be much of a disturbance if you do. Decorous playing is expectant of all players, even those who play roulette at casinos. Also, having a valid identification is important because you don't know you might win and need to present credentials.

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