This is it.

2010's here. I have a feeling its gonna be something special.

Yesterday, I was in the suckiest of moods and I wished, and I really, really wished, that I wanted to be someone else. I didn't wanna be me anymore.
I actually thought that if I wished hard enough, I would wake up and find myself in someone else's body. Someone who wasn't me.
Someone self-actualized.
Someone totally in touch with themselves.
Someone less confused.
Someone less so-easily-influenced-by-anyone.
Someone, when they're shelling peanuts, the shells break up into two perfect pieces.
Someone who always has more time than things to do.
Someone who's a good planner and a good time manager.
Someone who can please everyone and Someone who, when goes to bed at night, can sleep a good night's sleep because they've done whatever they should've done that day.
Someone who doesn't go, 'CRAP!' because they haven't been able to stick to their deadlines.
In other words, Someone...Perfect.

I don't know if anyone like that exists, and if they do, I'm so ready for soul-swapping.
I'm sure there are people in whose life, everything just goes right all the time. Like they're a walking contradiction to Murphy's Law.
I'm nowhere NEAR that.

But after a long night of thinking, I've realized that even if I'm not all that, I could be. In a much lesser degree, but still.

Last night, I got this text:

Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to make it right.
Happy Sparkling Twenty Ten.

Another chance for us to make it right.

And I'll take that chance. I have to.

Yesterday, I asked Ess, 'What are you gonna do tonight?'
'We're going out,' he had replied.
'Where?', I had asked again.
'Wherever destiny takes us,' And although he was obviously being dramatic, and joking, this phrase has been repeating itself over and over in my head since midnight.
Wherever destiny takes us.

I really feel something special's in store for this year. I really do.

The first three months, there's nothing but study planned. After that, I'll be free. Not only free, I'll have three months off.
To do whatever I like.
The thought makes me dizzy.

Happy New Year to all.

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9 Reflections:

Misanthropist said...

Have a great year Shrishti!
Imperfections are perfect and when you learn to love yourself life becomes much easier :)

Sherry Wasandi said...

Love the teeny-angst posts! Really. I'm not kidding when I say that I miss being a teenager. The privilege of posting things like these and yet being appropriate was taken away from me 5 months ago.

Boy.. I miss it.

But, on a more relevant note, there's something I once read somewhere that it's only when we grow much older that we realize the exact place we were in, fitted into the jigsaw puzzle. We're all struggling to be something. When it's actually the whole process of attempting that matters.

Stupidosaur said...

Naah! Stay yourself!

Say you suddenly get into the body of James Bond. Your own problems will suddenly vanish but then you wouldn't really know what to do with all those gadgets and how to make narrow escapes with cool stunts, but you will get all the problems and enemies of James Bond against whom he used those skills!

Just as you are, you rock! In future you will diamond! (Ok that was a the weirdest two sentences I have ever
seen, but you get the idea ;) )

Here is wishing a very Happy Birthday And A Happy Prosperous Life to your New Year! :)

Best of luck for exams! Of course I will get opportunity to renew the wishes in the coming months, but I will start investing early so you reap the highest returns ;)

Ketan said...

The above comment I initially thought could be by Stupidosaur. But then I thought Stupidosaur can't be this sweet. I thought it must be TUIB.

But then I am highly unpleasantly highly suprised. He is never so sweet with me!!! Why-o-why???

Anyway, the paranoid me is wondering if Ess in your post is Stupidosaur himself! You talked to stupii on phone?

Anyway, a very happy birthday to Stupidosaur, and a happy new year to you. CBSE tenth exams have not been scrapped?

@ Stupidosaur:

Did 'Jazz' have anything to do with the second coincidence you were talking of?

Ketan said...

And hey, perfection is overrated. And most definitely has nothing to do with how many people you could please. In fact, in certain ways how you look at it, pleasing others is the perfect antithesis of perfection.

Tangled up in blue... said...

All things when you look at them thru the blighted prism of nostalgia look so much rosier and happier and lovelier..

I look back at all those other New Years that went by, and really long to be the person I was then..thinking this year, everything's going to be great..this year something wonderful will happen..

I still think that to an extent, but not so much now..its not the promise of happiness, you know, that you're sensing is happiness! :)

Happy New Year to you, Srishti!

And three whole months of doing what you like?

I have more like three whole years of endless torture! Sheesh! No fair! :D

Srishti said...

@ Misanthropist: Thank you and the same to you! :D
Yeah I guess that what I need to love myself. :)

@Sherry: Haha, thank you. I still have four years to go. :D
Isn't it always like that? The effort always matters more than the result.

@Stupii: Haha, thank you sooo much. I look forward to diamond-ing in future. Happy Birthday? My birthday was almost four months ago! You're lateee. Anyway, thanks for the wishes. :)
But if I get into the body of James Bond, then I'll have access to his brain too right? And since all the data (how to use gadgets, escape from enemies etc.) would be installed in my brain, I WOULD know how to use my skills!
And seriously, thanks for all the best of lucks...I should really start asking everyone I know to start wishing me luck from now, so that by March, I have enough luck. :D

@Ketan: Ohh...I think Stupii'll answer that one. I dunno.
You ARE paranoid! Ess isn't him! :D
Wait a minute...who's birthday is it?
CBSE boards have been scrapped but starting next year. I'm one of the last people to go through this torture.
Okay so, don't perfect people please others or people who please others aren't perfect?

Srishti said...

And happy new year to you too! :)

@TUIB: Finally! You're back. :)
Your wise words were missed. Like this, "its not the promise of happiness, you know, that you're sensing is happiness! :)"
Seriously, it felt so nice to read this. Thanks. :)
And oh yeah, three whole months. :D

Stupidosaur said...


I wasn't wishing you a happy birthday. Since your new year was recently born, I was wishing it a happy birthday and prosperous life ;)

//But if I get into the body of James Bond, then I'll have access to his brain too right?

What is 'I', I mean You here? If you ask me, you are your brain AND body. If any one would change to any degree, your entire experience of being yourself would change. But still, since You want to be in other person's body, I would say You are at least your brain. If not you, your thoughts, your identity that you take to James Bond's body, what do you mean?

In fact if you just mean it is some 'life force' of yourself that you wish transferred to James Bond's body, I wonder if that 'life force' would even be capable of sensing that it has gone to Bond's body. Bond's brain would still experience itself and its body as being James Bond!

Maybe I can claim that even right now some nebulous invisible 'life spirit' from me passed from me to you or you to james bond. But your brain always kept percieving you are you, and James Bond's brain kept perceiving he is he! Can you refute that baseless claim with any basis?

Also here is next installment: Best of Luck!


Yes of course 'Jazz' is very much related to what I was talking about! It rhymes with it! ;)

BTW 'sweet'? LOL! When talking to a sweet sensible school kid, being sweet happens naturally. In what way do you expect me to 'be sweet' to you? Especially, what kind of 'sweet comments do' you expect me to leave to your heavy duty posts?