BRAIN BALONEY

VMA, 2009

Because of you, I know now. That sometimes, its okay. Its okay if I don't cross the finish line first. Its okay if I don't cross the finish line at all. Its okay if i just stay back and cheer for others.

The grass was swaying lightly in the wind. The sky was a light blue, with a weirdly shaped snow white cloud, here and there. The park was full, as one would expect on a Saturday evening. Little families were sitting on the ground on sheets, huddled together. Children were running around in all directions, and obviously, the noisiest part of the park was by the swings. We walked up The Hill. Of course, Hill was hardly the word for it. It was just a slightly raised part of the park. Just a little steep.

The park was the ever-so-crowded, Indraprastha Park, the ultimate destination for any kind of picnics or outdoor Sunday brunches. At the Hill, it was a little less crowded, but just a little. This was Delhi after all. From the top, I could see the trains. Was it some kind of station? Trains were just standing there. But whatever it was, I really love looking at trains so its not like I minded. We just walked aimlessly, taking in the fresh air, the noise, the smell of the cool grass air, everything.

When suddenly, the very intelligent me gets an idea.
"Lets do roly-poly!" I say excitedly. He looks at me quizzically.
" The ROLY-POLY", I said slowly and loudly, as if explaining to a little child, which I might as well be doing, given his expression.
"The what?" he said.
"You don't how to Roly-Poly?" I asked disbelievingly.
He looked at me as if I was speaking Irish.
"Whats...roly-poly?"
Matlab, seriously. Everyone knows whats a roly-poly! Everyone. Even the computer-nerds type who never go out.
"Buddhu", I said. "Its when you roll down the hill lying down on your stomach and then you roll and then you're on your back and then stomach and like this, ghoom ghoom kar! And its so much fun because you go on rolling and rolling and you don't know when or where you'll stop and you may just bang into someone or knock someone down! Like...in those serials! The woman rolls down the stairs, dropping the thali, its contents spill everywhere and then the weird background music plays." I snapped my fingers. " Aise."
I said all this with such gusto that he couldn't help laughing.
"Okay", he said. "Lets...roll-poll down the hill!"
We did it. We rolled down and down and further down, finally coming to a halt because the slope ended. Laughing, we got up, shaking bits of grass from our clothes. People all around were staring at us, like we were a couple of retards. He held his hand out and I took it and stood up.
"I guess we overdid it, haan?" I said, looking around and well, seriously, a lot of people were staring at me like I was a freak or something. Hello, it was only a roly-poly...like they hadn't done it in their time.
"No," he said. "You've got leaves and feathers stuck in your hair."

I'm saying it now, and I'll stick to it forever: Murphy was a GENIUS. Seriously. Newton, Einstein, Edison...you guys were all great, but Murphy here, is my favourite.

Murphy's Law basically states this:

Anything that can possibly go wrong, will go wrong, at the WORST possible time, in the WORST possible way.

The British stage magician Nevil Maskelyne wrote in 1908:

"It is an experience common to all men to find that, on any special occasion, such as the production of a magical effect for the first time in public, everything that can go wrong will go wrong. Whether we must attribute this to the malignity of matter or to the total depravity of inanimate things, whether the exciting cause is hurry, worry, or what not, the fact remains."

Which, is like, SO true! And this is Murphy's Extended Law: If a series of events can go wrong, they will do so in the worst possible sequence.

Actually, I think that the probability of something going wrong is less than something going right. Because, in life, there are obviously MORE right things that have happened to you than wrong things, unless you're Lindsay Lohan from Just My Luck (and anyway, if you ARE Lindsay Lohan, then Murphy's Law probably doesn't even apply to you).

For example, lets imagine that this cute guy's in your school or college whatever. You've never talked or anything. Lets say you, your friends, he and probably his friends are in the canteen. So he'll NOT look at you when you just cracked a joke and everyone's laughing. He'll NOT look at you when you look positively angelic. But he WILL look at you when you're choking up on water and coughing uncontrollably and your face is all red. Murphy's Law.

Another example. My internet's been working totally fine over the past so many weeks. I've never had a problem with it. But two-three days ago, I needed to send a REALLY important e-mail and BAM! The connection's lost. Internet's not working. All this past month, I've been whiling away my time on Facebook, or just surfing the net looking for nothing in particular, and the ONE time I ACTUALLY need the internet, its gone! Murphy's Law.

Or maybe you've gone somewhere and you're reallyy hungry and the only place around for food is this restraunt that serves so-so food. But you're ravenous so you just eat it and fill your stomach. When you come home full and filled, it turns out your mom made your favourite dish! Murphy's Law.

This is a parody of famous lines in Thomas Moore's Lalla Rookh:

I never had a slice of bread,

Particularly large and wide,

That did not fall upon the floor,

And always on the buttered side.

Although I'm not very fond of the Law, I really have to thank Murphy for making us aware about the Law. And its prevalence in nature.

Murphy's Law isn't applicable all the time. Once in a while, or if you're REALLY unlucky, then twice in a while. :P

But the fact remains. Such a law exists. To avoid getting Murphynated at any special occasions, you can be like Monica and make a list of all possible things that can go wrong and provide its solutions. Or you can just live with it and bear it when it comes. Because people DO get murphynated a lot other times, than JUST during special occasions. In that case, the second option would be better. And more reasonable.

Signing off Murphynated,

Srishti