Undo it

Every once in a while, you hear something or see something that makes you appreciate what you have in life. That makes you thank your lucky stars. That makes you laugh at yourself for worrying about stupid, trivial things just five minutes ago.

L, the sweet, funny L, who made me laugh as we walked through the Haunted House, who made me smile instead of scream, is alone. I've just met him a few times, but I liked him instantly. Twinkling eyes, goofy grin-how could you not like him? He had all the comforts in the world.
And now, everything's gone. In a flash.
His father passed away today. How can it be? I had seen him healthy and happy on Diwali, laughing. Not fair, this. L's 13 too young. It can't be.
My Saru went through something like this last year, a week before finals. I remember her cry as I managed to call her from school; I remember trying to say something, anything but nothing came out. I remember everything.
I am unable to get it out of my head.
I'm in two minds over going there tomorrow. Can I bear to see the tears instead of twinkle?
Can I bear to see him like I had seen my Saru?
I don't know.
I just know that I want it undone.

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5 Reflections:

Ketan said...

Hello Srishti!

I understand your predicament. When we can't console someone who's suffered a huge loss. It almost feels guilty to try to console as it is not us who would've suffered the loss.

For me it becomes a kind of guilt. And this 'guilt' is something I've never been able to learn to handle.

If you are close to L, possibly your being close to him in such times will only give strength that maybe not everything about his World has changed, and few things have still remained the same, from where he can derive the strength to re-embrace his life.

If he does not consider you close to him, I'm not sure if your presence will help him.

Hope this helps. TC.

soin said...

its a bit weird feeling.. only if u go through you will know the weirdness.. i went thought that.. wasnt good.. but its all old stuff.. all is well that

Srishti said...

@Ketan: I'm not that close to L.
I just can't get the image out of my head. The image of him laughing.
Thanks for your help. :)

@Soin: Of course, but I do hope that I never go through it.

Misanthropist said...


you should go and meet ur friend.
rest I suck at this myself!

Tangled up in blue... said...

My best friend's mother passed away three years ago.

She wudnt stop crying and I had no idea how to comfort her.

I ran thru what I shud say in my head, "Sorry." "It'll get better." "I know how you feel."

What cud I have said? They were all lies. And mere words wud have made no difference anyway.

So I just hugged her and we sat there holding hands and she just cried and put her head on my shoulder.

But it did get better.

She's almost the same now. But the sadness marks you. I wish I had better advice.

Take care of L. Dont be afraid of his grief or embarrassed by it. Thats all.